There were periods when we managed expenses successfully and periods when we were simply trying to get caught up. Both belong in an honest financial account.
During my years as a 911 dispatcher and possibly the earliest years at Mohawk, tax refunds were an important annual event. We often received around $9,000–$13,000. Those refunds weren't all overwithheld income taxes. Our circumstances sometimes qualified us for refundable credits, including the Earned Income Tax Credit, and I had intentionally chosen withholding settings that generally deducted more tax from paychecks than necessary.
A refund sometimes paid for a replacement vehicle or a large home repair. The remaining cash stayed in checking as a reserve. It could keep us comfortable for the first six to nine months of a year, but there were times we ran low and postponed purchases until the next refund.
Sometimes we overdrew the checking account and contacted the bank to request relief from fees. We also occasionally sold brokerage investments to pay medical costs or bills that were too close to being sent to collections.
Buying the vehicles we could afford
Until May 2026 we typically bought vehicles outright, frequently with 80,000–160,000 miles already on them. We weren't buying expensive new cars for cash. We were accepting older vehicles, repairs, and occasional inconvenience in exchange for avoiding a new monthly loan obligation. In hindsight, learning to repair cars myself earlier could have saved money, although the online tools and tutorials available today weren't as accessible back then.
A family effort, with family help
My wife earned income that helped cover our mortgage and household expenses and devoted considerable time to our children. Other relatives helped as well: grandparents sometimes purchased school supplies and clothing and included us in vacations we could not have independently financed. My parents occasionally helped with vehicle repairs. Our parents helped pay for our college education and materials, reducing what we otherwise would have needed to borrow or pay ourselves.
We didn't achieve financial progress in isolation. Jobs, household choices, public tax benefits, and family support all mattered.
The changed meaning of 'paycheck to paycheck'
Today, I sometimes still feel that way. But with a large employee retirement contribution election, much of my current lack of day-to-day wiggle room is self-imposed. Earlier, the problem was that income genuinely struggled to meet obligations. Today I could reduce retirement saving if flexibility were more important in a particular period.
This is one reason I avoid universal rules about budgeting. The right balance between saving and spending changes with income, children, obligations, and the size of an emergency fund.